Oct 4, 2004

Full of Wist

Well, that's not what that means, actually. "Full of wist" is not a synonym for "wistful." I'm just being obtuse. "Wistful" is the word of the day, and I wanted to not be a total joiner.

I get wistful all the time. More often than even you would suspect given all the evidence already supporting my claim. But it's not always paralyzing. Sometimes, it's even nice. Sometimes, I miss it when I haven't had a bout of it in a while. Sometimes, I forget that millions of other people get through a day without sighing heavily or looking backwards. They watch the t.v. shows they've been looking forward to. They discuss dinner options. They revel in a good night's sleep. They don't plague themselves with the fear that they will never be whole. They don't weigh themselves down with the anxiety that nothing gets better or that life doesn't have some implicit joy guarantee. They don't compare themselves to anyone. They don't worry. Who are these blissful millions? Robots? Did they get some lucky piece of brain removed when they were born? Do they believe in something? Or something? Just talking about them is making me angry and resentful.

Anyway, don't get the wrong idea. I have a grand time, too. Much of the time, I do. Honest.

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posted by Mary Forrest at 12:59 AM | Back to Monoblog


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