Dec 5, 2002
On the whole
Some friends will tell you what you need, but they will be wrong. They will be friends who don't really know or understand you. They will suggest that it's easy to stop feeling the way you do. Or they will tell you that there are quick fixes and shortcuts to take. They will say, "Look forward!" And they will not be looking you in the eye when they say it. Because if they were, they would see the dismay there. And the whole "not buying into it" thing. No one can tell you what will fix it or how you should feel or what you should be thinking. And the friends who don't see you for what you really want and who you really are and what you are really on your way to will never step on board.
It's not only about who or what makes you feel good right now. Sometimes it's about how you are made to feel good. And why that is.
You've got to live. Sure, you do. But what's living, really? Is it mac and cheese and your favorite sitcom? Is it a night out on the town? Is it the finished product? Is it the right smile? The right nod? The no that becomes yes? The yes that becomes no? It's not just the pumping of blood and air and the time that passes in tandem. It's something more. Surely.
And don't listen to the cats who tell you not to let it get you down without suggesting why. Sometimes it's good to let it get you down. Sometimes down is the place to be. It certainly paints gold stars on up once you get there.
And this will all sound like bloody nonsense to anyone not currently residing within one of my brain lobes. Good luck and good night.
posted by Mary Forrest at 3:53 AM | Back to Monoblog